Change Your Mind
Posted by leoterbieten in Change Your Mind Article on August 25, 2015
The importance of becoming self-protective and assertive during separation and divorce cannot be overstated. You must provide for your own safety in order to keep your children safe. But these efforts must be kept in perspective lest they morph into obsessive futile engagement with the other parent and the legal system. It’s easy to become […]
On Narcissism
Posted by leoterbieten in On Narcissism on July 28, 2015
Sigmund Freud only published a single paper exclusively devoted to narcissism, “On Narcissism: An Introduction” (Freud, Sigmund, Vienna, 1914). This paper, not surprisingly, is a seminal work on the subject. In it Freud defines narcissism as a perversion as well as a normal and healthy process which can be found in all human development. Therefore Freud […]
The End of the World
Posted by leoterbieten in The End of the World on June 19, 2015
The End of the World Leo Terbieten MFT The feelings of loss that occur during divorce can be a virtual, psychological hall of mirrors. With childhood experiences of loss and abandonment reflected upon your current situation. Added to this complex overlap of emotion is your children’s actual experience of loss and your projection onto […]
Against all Odds
Posted by leoterbieten in Against all Odds on May 28, 2015
Leo Terbieten MFT The process of separation/divorce is one of the most challenging experiences you can have as an adult. There are few life transitions that rival the sheer emotional intensity and threat level of dissolution. When child alienation is part of the process the stress level at times can seem unbearable. These are cases […]
Posted by leoterbieten in Parenting 420 on April 20, 2015
Parenting 420 Leo Terbieten MFT 4/20/2015 Happy “Weed Day”. The birth of 420 dates back to the early 70s, when students of San Rafael High designated this as the ritualistic time to smoke dope after class. 420 has since become code for marijuana and more specifically getting loaded. In commemoration of this high holy day I’m […]
Co-Parenting Interminable
Posted by leoterbieten in Co-Parenting Interminable on March 23, 2015
Parents know that a child’s reaching the age of majority does not absolve them of their responsibility to parent. Naturally, over time the form of relationship one has with their kids will undergo a metamorphosis. The joy, pride and responsibilities of being a parent, however, will remain, to some extent, for the rest of your […]
Bird Nesting as a Child Custody Solution
Posted by leoterbieten in Bird Nesting as a Custody Solution on February 16, 2015
Is it Healthy to Maintain a Relationship Beyond its Expiration Date? An increasingly popular approach to co-parenting is “bird nesting.” This involves the parents remaining in the family home but basically living separate lives with specific periods of responsibility for the kids. In most “bird nesting” arrangements the parents continue to cohabit but sleep in […]
Some People NEVER Learn: Why They Continue To Make Bad Choices
Posted by leoterbieten in Some People NEVER Learn: Why They Continue To Make Bad Choices on January 7, 2015
“The fault is not in our stars” William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar) It’s painful to helplessly watch as an otherwise intelligent individual becomes completely incompetent when it comes to choosing romantic partners. “Can’t Ronnie see what’s happening? Charlie is exactly like Ry, maybe worse. I can see exactly how this is going to play out. Why […]
Solitude
Posted by leoterbieten in Solitude on December 12, 2014
The apparent ability of some parents to get on with their social lives post-divorce without missing a beat can be demoralizing to those who find business as usual impossible. This perspective can be especially painful during holidays and anniversaries. When the lonely, isolated parent views themselves negatively in contrast to the active parent an unhealthy […]
The Needy Parent and the Children that ally with them
Posted by leoterbieten in The Needy Parent on November 17, 2014
November 2014 Blog The Needy Parent and the Children that ally with them Leo Terbieten MFT Separation and divorce, especially with children, is one of the most painful experiences you can go through, no question. In this article, however, I will describe the dynamic of wounded narcissism as opposed to the experience of genuine loss. […]
Leo Terbieten, M.A., MFT 