I’d like to share some thoughts about the child custody process and a new book that I hope will be helpful to parents with children going through separation or divorce. The Custody Manual is a practical guide to the child custody process. A clear, concise handbook, it explains what to expect and how to avoid common mistakes during contested custody negotiations and litigation. The Custody Manual provides support for parents going through one of life’s most difficult experiences.
In the book, I share what I’ve learned about parents finding their way through the unfamiliar and challenging landscape of life post separation. My goal is to assist both you and your kids through this phase of your life without making the common mistakes that can threaten safe passage.
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area. I provide psychotherapy and act as a consultant to parents and children going through divorce. I’ve worked with the courts in various capacities for 30 years.
Mythic level of loss
The loss of a loved one is always extremely difficult. The loss experienced in divorce is in many ways even more intense in that we are losing both our spouse and our family as we’ve come to know it. A divorce can produce feelings of loss on a nearly mythic level. Divorce is also one of the most chronically threatening events a person can face. Divorce is, after all, a lawsuit in which your relationship with your children and your family’s financial survival is at stake.
Divorce often brings out the worst in people. The person you were married to is no longer available. They’ve disappeared emotionally or seem to have turned into a monster. It’s like you’ve been looking at one side of a coin for years and suddenly the coin flips and you don’t recognize any of the familiar characteristics you were accustomed to.
If you’re suffering through the divorce process and need help negotiating the emotional and practical steps, get in touch. Click to find out more about my practice.
Leo Terbieten, M.A., MFT 